When you love someone
by Aigerim Lehane
Summary: Katherine watches Damon and Elena.


Inspired by Adele – Someone like you.

It's been eight years. She knows that, because she counted. Starting from the moment he said he didn't love her anymore. And it wasn't about him saying it. It was about it being true. No matter how many times he spat hateful words about despising her, she never believed him. She knew he was lying to everyone, because deep down he still was Damon Salvatore, a poor sweet guy who had his heart broken. She knew he still loved her. And she was so sure he will always love her. He was supposed to always be here for her, waiting, trying to save her from being burned down, opening the tomb to be with her forever, giving her vervain so she could be free from her worst nightmare.

She wasn't stupid. She knew the last part was about Elena. Not her. And ever since that awful year, never about her.

And the fact that _she_ looked just like her did nothing to mend her heart. Damon was with that pathetic human_ despite_ that little fact, not because. That was what he said eight years ago, when she tried to get him back one more time. And that was when she finally realized that he in fact wasn't in love with her. And never will be again.

His tired voice still haunts her sometimes.

_I love __**her**__, Katherine. Only her. And always will._

She went mad after his confession. He has never seen her lose her cool like that before. She always was levelheaded and mysterious, with her playful smile present on her face. Sure, she wasn't exactly calm when he locked her in the tomb, but that was different. She begged for her life, and she brought out all weapons she knew.

But when he told her the truth, it all came crashing down on her. He wasn't hers anymore. And it hurt. It hurt more than it should, she didn't love him, right? So she shouldn't have hurled that glass in fire and start screaming at him. She should have just smirked knowingly and said some nonsense about him always being her property, plaything, lapdog.

Turned out she was lying to herself all this time, too.

He watched her tiredly as she was pacing his carpet, accusing him of something, screaming, pointing out that Elena was _just a human_ and that she looked like her, for fuck's sakes! He just sat here with his head in hands, while she finally calmed down and stood with tears streaming down her face. It looked so much like a break-up scene, only there was nothing to break. They weren't together. They will never be. 'They' didn't exist. There were only Damon and Katherine, two strangers who had nothing together. That's what it felt like.

When she watches him play happy family with a doppelganger, it still feels like that. She smiles sadly as a cute little boy with jet-black hair runs into Elena's open arms and they laugh as the boy knocks his mother on her back.

She never found out how Damon managed to knock the girl up. But it was Damon, after all. He was full of surprises.

When she watches from the woods how Damon gets the tickling of his unlife, her heart painfully stops its slow beating. Sometimes, she pretends that she just watches a home video, and it's her who runs away from her husband and it's her who squeals in delight when Damon picks her up and carries to the pool.

Well, after he jumps in here with Elena in his arms, it gets a little easier to breathe.

She tried to hit it off with Stefan. But he changed, boy, had he changed. He wasn't the same sweet innocent boy who was madly in love with her. Now, he's a broken brooding vampire, who mopes around the house all day. After his trip with Klaus, he was feeling even more guilty and miserable. Klaus finally shattered whatever has left of old Stefan. He was the one who helped her to see the truth, though. She came to get Damon back two years after being with Stefan. When she laid in her bed at night, listening to Stefan screaming out in his sleep, she recalled how full of life Damon was. Even after all the pain and heartbreaks, he was alive and open to love. He was rewarded by the one thing that only punished him for 145 years, when Elena slapped him for risking his life so much, and then kissed him lovingly deep for everyone to see. She remembers seeing Stefan's knowing sad smile and shocked faces of the witch and blondie.

She remembers that gut-wrenching feeling she had when Elena pulled away with happy tears in her eyes and Damon just stood there frozen. When he started to hesitatingly smile, she just couldn't bear with it. He looked so much like back in 1864, and this time, that wasn't for her. She fled from Grill and swore to never come back to that damned town again. As always, she lied to herself.

She watched as the little boy played with his big brown dog. She remembers Stefan again. He managed to go back to his animal diet again, and that made him even weaker. She couldn't leave him in that state. She's still by his side, not as a girlfriend or lover. She's the only thing that holds him together. She's afraid that if she leaves, he will take off his ring and face the sunset. She can't let that happen. And she also doesn't want to spend an eternity alone. Before, she managed great. But now, she can't fall asleep without someone near. And Stefan smells like Damon. It's a win-win. Or maybe it's a lose-lose. Probably the latter.

"You should stop this. It's not healthy."

"Just like living with a woman only because she wears the face of the love of your life isn't." She answers quietly, watching the Salvatores chasing the dog. They didn't have it a year before. It must have been bought for Johnnie's birthday.

She turns around to find Stefan looking longingly at their little family. They looked so happy together. So perfect. Natural, healthy and not damaged in any way.

They were everything she and Stefan never could be.

Finally, Stefan looked back at her. She stared right back into his gentle green eyes. A lifetime ago, she felt like she drowned in them.

"You come here every year for the past eight years. And you never tried to do something. Not even once. "

"Keeping tabs on me, Stefan?"

He smiled in that gentle way of his.

"It's hard not too when you leave for three days every year. I live with you, remember?"

A ghost of smile played on her lips as she returned her gaze on the family not too far way. But enough far so Damon won't sense her.

"That I do, dear Stefan. As for your question…" She was silent for a long moment before going on. "I was selfish with him for too long. I can't ruin his life this time."

They quietly watched Damon carrying his sleepy son into the house and returning with two glasses of blood.

"You love him, don't you." It was a statement rather than question. Katherine closed her eyes, wishing she could inhale a spicy cinnamon smell of Damon. But she couldn't come so close, or he would smell lemons and know she's here.

"Yes. I do. Probably always will."

"That's because you don't have him."

She smirked, a glimpse of her old self shining through.

"What, if Elena ran here to you and proclaimed her undying love, you would decline because you have her back?"

He was quiet, and she snorted at that.

"Thought so." She spoke up again. "Don't you think that's ironic? He has us both now, you know. And you have… well. Doesn't it upset you?"

"It's ironic alright," Stefan answered quietly. "And no. It doesn't. Damon saved my life, after all. And what's more important, he saved me from myself. Twice."

"You saved him too."

Stefan only shook his head slowly, smiling.

"No, I tried to. It was you who brought him the cure, although you could leave him to die."

Katherine didn't reply to that. She just watched as Damon slowly kissed Elena and how they smiled, looking in the each other's eyes, looking for something and finding it.

"He's one happy man, though. He has you both loving him sincerely. I never had that."

She turned to him, confused.

"I did love you."

"If you truly loved me, you would have never done anything to hurt Elena. But with Damon, you just stay away and check in once a year. You let him go, because you really love him." Stefan paused. "We should get going. Elijah is waiting."

Katherine nodded at him. She cast one last look at Elena, who was asleep in Damon's arms. He kissed the side of Elena's head and whispered something.

"Let's go."

Katherine wasn't sure if these words floated through the air to her ears or she just imagined it, but they would always stay in her memories, said in Damon's gentle whisper.

_I love you._


End file.
